This is not a normal blog.
This is a self reflection.
I believe that as long as one lives, one must seek ways to serve one's fellow man (and women, of course). This, unfortunately, is incredibly hard, as I have observed through my own frequent failings.
Research on the mechanisms of decision making has led me to a simple but beautiful conclusion: easy things are easier to do than hard things. This is to say that things which are easier (namely, require less risk or investment or cost) are done more often than things which are harder (take more time, more money, more risk). Thus, one must have a quite good reason to choose the harder of two options. As such, if the hard decision is the one you want to promote you have two main courses of action: make a powerful argument as to why the harder path is more desirable, or make the harder path easier.
Therefore, to help myself out in this oftentimes losing battle to give, I decided to try to make it easier, then I decided to crystalize the argument to myself. The cliff notes are below. :)
Why should I do this thing?
- Karma is a powerful thing, even if it is more functional than cosmic. My theory: as you act within your sphere of influence you are changing those around you: Inevitably and unwittingly you and your actions are impacting those who you touch. It is hard for me to image that it is frequent that an input will resuly in an inverse output, so I assume that, generally, if you love those around you are more likely to love. If you hate they are more likely to hate. If you are apathetic they are more likely to be apathetic. This argument obviously has huge unexplained facets, but as a general rule I believe it. Further, it doesn't simply come back to you - "karma," as I use it, states that a slight change in someone else will then affect all those in their sphere of Influence (in which you most certainly are).
- Altruism is selfish: be it a mistake of evolution (confusing In groups with out groups) and a consequence of a modern dispersal of family groups or not, altruism makes you happy. As discussed here. Far from being depressing, I find this wildly inspiring. Even if we are self absorbed and selfish individuals we can still be altruistic? If our motives are service or status or just warm fuzzies, how cool is it to be so rewarded for giving?
- I believe in social norms, and I believe they are malleable based on collective expectations. Currently acts of everyday generosity are incredibly inspirational partially because they are relatively exceptional - they are not the norm. So. In order to make a move in that direction, I will make a bold proclamation I expect these acts of kindness and generosity. I expect them of myself and of those around me. Of course I will be disappointed, I am not naive. But I hope that these disappointments will be instructive. Hopefully they will nudge social norms towards those expectations. So this then is reason 3- I expect it of us all, even recognizing the difficulty of this proposition. I will be disappointed if opportunities are missed it avoided. Before you react strongly to this, please read the "how (caveats)," section, found below.
- How (caveats)
- Something very important to state right away is that while time and money are the most recognizable currencies, there are hundreds more to choose from. For example, your muscles. Your voice. Your influence. Your couch. Your kind words. Your acknoledgement (say of a beggar as a human being). Your respect. A patient reaction instead of exasperation. Your attention. Encouragement. Challenge. The list goes on. You can assess the situation, what is needed and what you can give on your own. I trust you.
- The second caveat is limitations. I do not expect us to love or give outside of our limitations. We all have them, whether they are monetary, time, fear, space, paucity of resources, whatever. I expect us to know and push our limitations, but I cannot expect us to fly irresponsibly beyond them.
The above was the argument. The below is the making it easy.
How (logistics)
I am primarily concerned with the social norm of giving. I felt that once this is established giving well and thoughtfully can be addressed. However, I have realized that something that makes giving difficult is an unease with knowing who to give to and what, in those circumstances, to give. So. I did some research. Given time, skills, and money are the easiest thing to plan ahead to systematically give, I focused on these.
So. First. Lets say I have some money I can give but wonder about where to give it to achieve the most impact in a field I have a passion for. I should check out these websites. They rate various charities based on a number of factors, and can point you in a great donation direction.
If you find yourself with a certain skill-set and/or just a little free time you can start thinking about volunteering. Use the following websites to find a place that would likely fit you, nationally or internationally.
Finally, and perhaps the simplest of the "making it easy" suggestions - remember that you can give of anything. Anything. All you have to do is actively seek opportunities to do so. You'll find them by the minute Pay attention and be willing to spend some time, even if it's just a few seconds. Seriously, a kind word or a look of support can mean a lot, so do it purposefully.
I hope I don't come off as self-righteous, as I readily admit that this blog was written more as a reminder and resource for myself than anything else. I decided I needed to do the research, and once I had it in hand, I felt obliged to publish. Further, I will be the first to admit that the giving that I am beginning to expect of myself is incredibly hard and I fail so much more than I succeed. I just hope to get better. More thoughtful. More generous. More creative.
Its a long road.
Lets start walking.
love
always
stewart
How (logistics)
I am primarily concerned with the social norm of giving. I felt that once this is established giving well and thoughtfully can be addressed. However, I have realized that something that makes giving difficult is an unease with knowing who to give to and what, in those circumstances, to give. So. I did some research. Given time, skills, and money are the easiest thing to plan ahead to systematically give, I focused on these.
So. First. Lets say I have some money I can give but wonder about where to give it to achieve the most impact in a field I have a passion for. I should check out these websites. They rate various charities based on a number of factors, and can point you in a great donation direction.
Finally, and perhaps the simplest of the "making it easy" suggestions - remember that you can give of anything. Anything. All you have to do is actively seek opportunities to do so. You'll find them by the minute Pay attention and be willing to spend some time, even if it's just a few seconds. Seriously, a kind word or a look of support can mean a lot, so do it purposefully.
I hope I don't come off as self-righteous, as I readily admit that this blog was written more as a reminder and resource for myself than anything else. I decided I needed to do the research, and once I had it in hand, I felt obliged to publish. Further, I will be the first to admit that the giving that I am beginning to expect of myself is incredibly hard and I fail so much more than I succeed. I just hope to get better. More thoughtful. More generous. More creative.
Its a long road.
Lets start walking.
love
always
stewart
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