Sunday, March 31, 2013


45. Letter to my class

Hello friends.

As match day draws near it brings with it a chilling certainty of separation.  However, I would like to impress upon you that this separation need be only of proximity.  This, dear friends, is incredibly important to me not because of the fear of lost friends but because this fact means that we can continue those relationships which have changed us the most.  

Looking back on our four years I have discovered one overwhelming truth: for me, the most important part of medical school was, and still is, you.  All of you, really.  I am daily astounded by the uncanny collection of extraordinary people with whom I was somehow blessed to spend these formative days.  Part of this feeling stems from the closely held belief that humans are at their best and most powerful in the context of relationships and interactions, because through these we change each other and thus, slowly but inevitably, the world.  It is the inevitable, universal, and incredibly powerful byproduct of human interaction: the “power of effect.”  Through tens of thousands of interactions during our years together - miniscule or grandiose, personal or public, felt or merely observed - we have been changed by each other.  As such I feel personally indebted to each of you in a way I can never fully express.  From you I have learned, whether you tried to teach or not, and by you I have been changed, whether you intended it or not.  I would not trade these collected experiences for the world: I have no doubt that because of you I will leave this school a better person than when I entered.

That was the introduction.  :)  Stick with me.

I write this letter with two things in mind.

1) I want to be with you all on this important day, somehow.  I want to grasp those last few straws of interaction and effect while they are so readily available.  The fact is, this day signaling departure reminds me of how much I want to strengthen those bonds that have so shaped me.  I choose to seek out you incredible people and attempt to capture yet more of that desirable influence while I can.

2) In keeping with my belief that once you recognize the power of effect inherent in all interaction you must intentionally use that power to better your sphere of influence, I write in an attempt share a notion that is currently shaping me so that we all might be shaped by it together.

Over the last four years I have ended every email with an exhortation to "Love, always."  I think it is about time I explain what I mean.

To me, "Love" is an action verb.  It demands that we choose one set of actions over another when presented with certain situations.  To me, the simplest expression of this choice is "to give or not to give."  Specifically, I believe that "to love" means to choose to give of what you have to those who lack.  This, of course, encompasses much more than material possessions.

For example, we all have some measure of time.  We have skills, knowledge, and understanding that much of the world lacks.  We have food, faith, effort, strength, voice, and influence.  We have wisdom and advice gathered from past failings or present mentors, and can give the truth, trust, and respect.  We have resources to plumb and friends to call upon.  We may only have space on a couch.  The fact is we all have something from which we can give, and thus with which we can love.

To (loosely) quote perhaps the best known treatment of love (found in I Corinthians 13:4-8): We all possess the ability to be patient.  Love means "giving" (read: responding with) patience to those who are impatient or to those infuriating situations or relationships which we desperately want to quit.  It means giving kindness to cruelty.  We must give our gift of slowness to anger to frustrating people and situations.   When faced with the success of others we give support and encouragement in place of jealousy and envy.  We give concern for the wellbeing of others to those who cannot care for themselves.  We give honesty to those who know only lies.  We can choose to live simply in order to give more to those who are forced to live simply.  We have the remarkable power to offer forgiveness before it is asked for.  We can give peace to the distraught through our simple presence.  We can use any and all resources to give protection to the weak and vulnerable, from money to muscle to words.  We can give our perseverance to those who want to quit, our hope to those who feel they are not worth it, and our trust to all whose who have not earned it but have not yet lost it. Further, we can give opportunities to earn it back.

I say all this not because you have failed to love.  Far from it.  I say this because I know that we can all do it better.  Myself very much included. We can love more often.  More thoroughly.  If we honestly look for opportunities to love (read: to give), we will soon be overwhelmed with the joy of service.  It is a good kind of overwhelmed. This principle of actively seeking opportunities to give is what I am attempting to let take hold of me and what I hope will take hold of you.  To do so I daily pray that the mantra "what am I able to give?” is burned into my consciousness.  If this question pierces us as we walk day to day and we answer both honestly and actively, I shudder to think how wonderful this world would become.

Ability, of course, includes limits as well.  Obviously it includes honest assessment of resources, but one cannot forget fear, anxiety, or unease with the situation in the math.  These are real limits, and everyone will push themselves to different levels.  I say this to illustrate that this reading of Love is not a fairytale or impossibly idealistic.  Rather, it is imperatively realistic, if given effort and the time of day.  If honest, intentional, and perhaps a bit challenging to ourselves, I believe we will find ourselves more able than we can currently imagine.

Therefore, I have a request.

As we graduate we will take the Hippocratic Oath, which will guide our steps as doctors.  I here ask for something more.  I ask us to recognize that Love is an imperative of humanity.  I ask us to take what I will call the Human Oath, which will guide our steps as humans:

"I commit to consistently ask the admittedly tough question 'what am I able to give?' and I commit to act on the honest response."

Finally, and at the least, I hope that you all become conscious of how powerfully you can affect those around you with even the most off-handed word or deed, and that you would then intentionally and actively use this power to enact waves of good in your world.  Think about your actions and the effect they have, for they can be very, very sticky.  It could be as simple as repeating the above to your family, your friends, even your enemies.  God knows we all need repetition before something sticks.

In any case, I hope and pray for the best for you all. I hope I will feel your presence in my life again, whether we find ourselves geographically together or not.  We will not lose each other if we try, and your relationships here are worth holding onto.

Love.
Always.

Stewart


44. Sobre miedo.

Otra vez y otra vez.

Miguel y yo acabamos de regresar del trek  alrededor de Ausangate.  Era el lugar mas bonito del todo mi vida.   Ya quiero regresar.  Ya quiero mostrarlo a mi cariños.

Tengo mas de 900 fotos que necesito ordenar antes los público, pero como con Gocta yo tengo un cuento muy importante que no necesita fotos.

En nuestro 4to día estábamos perdidos.  Después bajando una abra estábamos buscando el sendero.  Aveces en este trek el sendero era muy muy obvio, aveces no.  En este momento vimos un sendero muy claro subiendo arriba el valle.  Nuestro mapa mostró que el sendero era 400 metros arriba del río.   Cuando llegamos a la cima del sendero había un "cairn" que usualmente demuestra que este sendero es el correcto.

Seguimos.  Estábamos caminando al lado de una montaña - mejor dicho un hombro de una montaña - con pasto, llamas, y colinas tiernas.   El valle con río era lejos abajo.

Después 700 metros encontramos un lugar lleno de piedras y pendiente.  Estábamos confundidos, porque con el "cairn" y mapa estaba mis seguro que este sendero era correcto.  Después un minuto encontramos un sendero bien claro a través de las piedras.

Seguimos al próximo lugar con pasto.

Seguimos a través el próximo lugar con piedras.  Por lo menos este ruta era muy sospecho, pero siempre cuando quisimos dar la vuelta encontramos un sendero muy claro y hecho por humanos obviamente. Viajamos 2 km en este manera.

Por fin llegamos en un lugar donde no hubo pase.  Vimos un grande sendero abajo, entonces bajamos.

Desafortunadamente, el sendero solo era para ir atrás.

Quitamos nuestras mochilas y buscamos una ruta para bajar.  Yo encontré solo barrancos y muerte.  Miguel encontró algo posible.  Había una ruta torcido y bien inclinado al lado del barranco, pero era cubierto en el pasto perfecto: largo y fuerte.

La ruta pareció a llegar abajo sin interrupción.

Decidimos a intentarla.

Miguel era correcto, la ruta llegó abajo sin interrupción.  Solo era 2 o 3 lugares peligroso con una grada de 2 o 3 cm de anchura al lado del barranco.  2 cm a la derecha era muerte cierto.

No te preocupes, estamos seguros y vividos.  Llegamos abajo sin daño.  Esta ruta solo era un reto a nuestros habilidades.  Recuerdas la ultima blog sobre decisiones?  Yo estabas pensando en este siempre.  Estoy seguro que si era claro que esta ruta era afuera de nuestros habilidades nosotros habríamos regresado.

Seguramente las ruta era adentro de nuestro habilidades.

Pero yo tenía una problema.  Para mi, esta ruta era espantosa.  Completamente espantosa.

Por eso voy a hablar sobre miedo.

Claro hay bastante diferente maneras en que puede entender miedo, y emociones en general.  Uno que yo creo es que hay 8 emociones básicos que son evolutivamente basados: miedo, tristeza, ira, alegría, sorpresa, disgusto, anticipación, y confianza.  Yo quiero incluir curiosidad.  La idea es que cada uno de estos emociones es un señal para proteger el organismo.

Por ejemplo: miedo es un señal de peligro.  Miedo es la a habilidad a reconocer peligro en algún forma y es un señal empujando a cualquiera de enfrentarlo o escaparlo.  Miedo siempre es sobre eventos del futuro: que cosas va a empeorar, que va a seguir en este manera (terrible), o que cosas malas va a pasar.

Miguel y yo tuvimos un grande conversación sobre miedo (en español!) después los eventos de este día.  Recuerdas nuestra noche atrapado por derrumbes?  Pues, alla el tenia mas miedo que yo, y en Ausangate yo tenia mas que el.  Hablamos en porque era esta diferencia.

Descubrimos dos posibilidades.

1) los roles que tuvimos en los diferente situaciones

2) que en Gocta no teníamos control del situación y en Ausangate Miguel no tuve dudas de su habilidad y yo las tuve.

1)  ahora creemos que en Ausangate Miguel era "el líder" en este momento.  El estaba explorando este ruta.  Yo exploré un otro terrible, y el encontró este ruta posible.  Cuando eres el líder es tu trabajo a formar o tener un opinión y comunicarlo bien.  Es tu trabajo a tener confianza y seguridad.  Debes mostrar bravura mas que miedo - si muestras miedo su seguidores va a tener miedo y usualmente no pueden hacer lo que necesitan hacer.  Ellos van a helarse.  Tu valor va a propagarse a los demás.  Aveces este es terrible - si el situación necesita mas habilidad que ellos tienen y tu no lo habías analizado bien.  Pero si tu eres un líder bueno vas a conocer los limites de tu grupo con honestidad y puedes animar a ellos a hacer mas que ellos creen que pueden hacer.  Entonces, si tu role es el líder, puedes evitar miedo mas fácilmente por que estas usando lógica exclusivamente.  En Gocta Miguel creó que yo tenia el role del líder, y yo creí que el estaba el líder.  En Ausangate Miguel era "el líder," entonces el tenia el responsabilidad a animarme, y el no tenia espacio o tiempo por miedo.

2) Control.  Este idea es muy interesante para me.  En Gocta no teníamos control sobre nada.  Solo nuestra reacciones.  Estábamos bien atrapados.  Miguel tenia mucho miedo (y por su pesto era apropriado), tal vez porque por 1 minute el creó que yo estaba muerte, o tal vez porque el tenia el role del seguidor y yo también entonces nadie estaba conduciendo o animando.  Tal vez el sentimiento que nadie tenia control era muy miedoso para el (otra vez, en este situacion apropriademente).  Para mi era diferente en Gocta.  Tal vez porque yo estaba orando yo sentí que dios tenia control.  Tal vez para mi si no tengo control yo sentí que no vale la pena a tener miedo sobre algo que no puedo hacer nada sobre.  Claro todavía no pude dormir, pero yo creo que eso era porque tenia que ser despierto para reaccionar a lo que podría pasar, pero no era por miedo.  Cuando no puedes escapar ni enfrentar tu miedo no vale la pena a tenerlo.

En Ausangate Miguel se sintió en control.  Sintió que tuve el habilidad necesario.  El estaba el líder y también cómodo con su habilidad.  Yo, sin embargo, yo no.  Yo supe que tenia el habilidad.  Yo lo conocí.  Pero yo me sentí miedo todavía porque yo sentí que no tenia el habilidad.

Recuerdas: Desde este momento encima el barranco hace 2 semanas no mas tenia dengue, y también anemia (no se porque - probablemente era por mi dieta y por dengue).  Todavía me sentí un poco débil, lento, y sin balanza.

Yo supe con todo mi mente que tenia el habilidad, pero mis sentidos solo recordaron mi debilidad y que me faltó balanza.  Mi mente supo completamente que pude hacer este ruta peligrosa, pero mis sentidos eran gritando que no pude.

Por eso no sentí en control.  Yo no estaba cómodo.  Mi miedo era poderoso por los sentidos.  Cada segundo tenia que recordarme con lógico que podría hacer eso.  Como siempre los sentidos regresaron rápidamente.  Sentidos siempre no responden a lógico.  :)

Hay una frase que dice "vencer miedo."  Yo creo que puede vencer miedo solo con animación o curiosidad.  Curiosidad es un sentido, un emoción contrario a miedo.  Puedes tener los dos en el mismo tiempo, y usualmente uno va a ser mas fuerte que el otro, y tu vas a escuchar al mas fuerte.

Animación puede ser de tu mismo o de un otro: un líder.  Yo creo que animación a vencer miedo es un cosa muy muy poderosa y debes ser muy cuidadoso con este poder.   Nosotros tenemos miedo por un razón.  Aveces debemos vencer, aveces debemos escuchar a lo.  Debes ser completamente honesto con tu evaluación de tu o su habilidad.  Si es claro que tu puedes hacerlo puedes animar tu mismo.  Si quieres ser un líder hay que tener el habilidad a evaluar los limites de los demás bien.  Es completamente necesario.  Si no puedes, no debes pretender a ser un líder.

Este aplica a cada tipo de líder.  Incluyendo doctores.

Eso yo creo.

Amor/amen
Siempre

Stewart


--------------------------------------------------


About fear.

Again and again.

Michael and I just returned from the Ausangate trek. It was the most beautiful place of my life. Already we want to go back. Already I want to show it to my loved ones.

I have over 900 photos that need sorting before I publicize them, but as with Gocta I have a very important story that needs no photos.

On our 4th day we were lost. After one pass we were looking for the pass downwards. Sometimes in this trek the trail was very very obvious, sometimes not. At this time we saw a clear path going up the side of the valley. Our map showed that the path was 400 feet above the river. When we reached the top of the trail there was a "cairn" which usually shows that this path is correct.

We continued. We were walking beside a mountain - rather on the shoulder of a mountain - with grass, llamas, and gentle hills. The river valley was far below.

After 700 meters we find a place full of stones, and a steep slope. We were confused, because with the "cairn" and our map were sure that this path was correct. After one minute we find a clear path through the rocks.

We continue to the next place with grass.

We continue through the next place with stones. At the minimum this route was very suspect, but always when we wanted to turn around we found a clear path obviously made by humans. We traveled 2 km in this way.

We finally arrived at a place where there was no pass. We saw a big path down the side of the mountain a little ways, so we went down.

Unfortunately, the trail was just going backwards.

We took our backpacks off and looked for a route to go down. I found only cliffs and death. Miguel found something possible. There was a crooked and well inclined path on the side of the cliff, but it was was covered in perfect grass: long and strong.

The path seemed to go down without interruption.

We decided to try it.

Miguel was right, the route came down without interruption. It was only 2 or 3 dangerous places with a step of 2 or 3 cm wide near the cliff. 2 cm to the right was a certain death.

Do not worry, we are safe and alive. We came down without damage. This route was only a challenge to our abilities. Remember the last blog about decisions? I was thinking about this always. I'm sure if it was clear that this route was out of our skills we would have returned.

Surely the route was in our abilities.

But I had a problem. For me, this route was terrifying. Completely terrifying.

So I'll talk about fear.

Sure there are quite different ways you can understand fear and emotions in general. One I believe is that there are eight basic emotions which are evolutionarily based: fear, sadness, anger, joy, surprise, disgust, anticipation and confidence. I want to include curiosity. The idea is that each of these emotions is a cue to protect the organism.

For example, fear is a warning sign. Fear is the ability to recognize danger in any way and is a sign pushing us to either face or escape it. Fear is always about future events, that things will get worse, it will continue in this way (terrible), or bad things will happen.

Michael and I had a great conversation about fear (in Spanish!) after the events of this day. Remember our night trapped by landslides? Well, he was more afraid of them than I, and I was more afraid than him on Ausangate. We spoke about wwhy there was this difference.

We found two possibilities.

1) the roles which we had in different situations

2) that we had no control Gocta situation and in Ausangate Miguel had no doubts of his ability and I had doubts.

1)  now we believe that Michael was "the leader" in ausangate. He was exploring this route. I explored another terrible route, and he found this possible route. When you're the leader your job is to form or have an opinion and communicate it well. It's your job to have confidence. You should show more courage than fear - if you show fear your followers will be afraid and usually can not do what they need to do. They are going to freeze. Your bravery will spread to others. Sometimes this is terrible - if the situation requires more skill than they have and you have not canalized their abilities well. But if you are a good leader you know the limits of your group and can honestly encourage them to do more than they think they can do. So if your role is a leader, you can more easily avoid fear if you're using only logic. In Gocta Miguel thought that I had the leader's role, and I thought that he was the leader.  There was confusion. In Ausangate Miguel was clearly "the leader," so had the responsibility to encourage me, and he did not have space or time for fear.

2) Control. This idea is very interesting to me. In Gocta we had no control over anything. Only our reactions. We were well trapped. Miguel was very afraid (of course it was appropriate fear/anxiety), maybe because for one minute he thought I was dead, or perhaps because he had the role of follower and I did too so then nobody was leading or encouraging. Perhaps the feeling that no one had control was very scary for him (again, in this situation appropriately). For me it was different in Gocta. Maybe because I was praying I felt God had control. Maybe for me if I have no control I felt that it is not worth it to be afraid of something I can not do anything about. Of course I could not sleep, but I think that was because I had to be awake to react to what might happen, but it was not out of fear. When you can not escape or confront your fear is not worth it to have it.

In Ausangate Miguel felt in control. He felt he had the necessary skills. He was the leader and also comfortable with his ability. I, however, I did not. I knew I had the ability. I knew that. But I still felt fear because I felt I did not have the ability.

Remember that two weeks before this moment above the cliff i had dengue and anemia (do not know why - it was probably because of my diet and dengue). I still felt a little weak, slow, and without balance.

I knew in my mind that I had the ability, but my feelings just remembered my weakness and that I lacked balance. My mind knew I could do this dangerous route, but my feelings were screaming that I could not.

So I did not feel in control. I was not comfortable. My fear was powerful because of these feelings. Every second I had to remind myself with logic that could do this. As always feelings quickly returned. Feelings don't always respond to logic. :)

There is a phrase that says "overcome fear." I think we can overcome fear with encouragement or just curiosity. Curiosity is a feeling, the opposite emotion of fear. You can have both at the same time, usually one will be stronger than the other, and you'll listen the strongest.

Encouragement can be from yourself or another: a leader. I think encouragement to overcome fear is a very powerful thing and you should be very careful with this power. We are afraid for a reason. Sometimes we should overcome, sometimes we should listen to it. You must be completely honest with your assessment of your or their ability. If it is clear that you can do it you can encourage yourself. If you want to be a leader you must have the ability to assess the limits of others well. It is absolutely necessary. If you can not, you should not pretend to be a leader.

This applies to each type of leader. Including doctors.

That I believe.

Love / love
Always

Stewart




43.  Dos dias en chachapoyas: la cataracta Gocta.

Si si si todavía tengo cuentos de Ecuador.  Pero.  Todavía tengo fotos de Ecuador que tengo que subir para contar los cuentos.  Sin los fotos los cuentos van a ser aburridos.

Entonces, voy a omitir aquellos que necesitan fotos y contar solo aquellos que necesitan palabras.

si hay fotos de este cuento pero el cuento es suficiente sin fotos por ahora, voy a añadir los luego.

Miguel y yo llegamos a las 6 de la mañana en Chachapoyas, un ciudad de la selva.    Después 3 horas decidiendo que debemos hacer fuimos a una pueblito se llama san Pablo para a ir a la catarata Gocta, la tercer mas alta catarata en todo el mundo.

Salimos un poco tarde pero no mucho.  El colectivo nos dejo al cruz del san Pablo, de donde subimos por una hora hasta el pueblo.  En san Pablo pagamos la entrada y fuimos a la cascada.

Una cosa que se me olvido a decir: había lluvia.  Tanto lluvia.  Cuando estábamos llegando hubo un derrumbe en el carretera, pero pudimos transcurrir.  Pero, el calle es en una valle al lado de un río, y con la lluvia todo el valle estaba cayendo.  Había cascadas de barro y piedras en el otro lado.  Era.....impresionante.  y peligroso.

Es interesante cuantos veces estos dos emociones están juntos.

De todos modos, fuimos caminando a la catarata.  Siguió lloviendo.

Este cuento tiene lecciones, como siempre con yo.  :).

El lección acá es sobre decisiones.  La verdad, no se que es correcto y que es incorrecto. Solo se que es bien complicado.  Pero, eso si yo se:  aveces el decisión correcto es tan difícil para hacer, y aveces el decisión incorrecto es tan atractivo.  Aveces los opciones no tiene un  repuesta claro, solo una mas peligroso y una mas cuidadoso.  La cosa importante para recordar es aveces es fácil a convencerte a hacer un decisión malo (o mejor dicho, tonto) un pequeño decisión no tan malo a la vez.  Este es este cuento.

Encontramos algunos mochileros regresando después 3 kilometres.  Ellos nos dijo que hubo algunos derrumbes en el sendero, uno grande hecho inmediatamente enfrente de ellos.  Ellos nos sugirieron que debemos regresar porque era demasiado peligroso.

Eso era la primera decisión pequeño de nuestro grande aventura.  Decidimos a seguir caminando hasta el derrumbe para ver como peligroso era.

Después 30 minutos mas caminando llegamos al derrumbe.  No parece tan peligroso al inicio, y recuerdas que yo tenia dengue hasta hace 1 semana entonces yo estuve bien cansado y la verdad era que no quise regresar por mi cansancio.  Decidimos a intentar a cruzarlo.  Eso era el segundo decisión un poco tonto, pero solo un poco.  Solo intentamos a cruzar.  Pero, después 4 metros tuvimos miedo a regresar pero era mas ancho que habíamos pensado, y mas peligroso también.  Pero ya sabes el sentido que cuando tu empiezas algo quieres terminarlo?  Si, sentimos esto.

Lección: cuando voy a hacer un decisión debo recordar que siempre voy a tener este sentido, y este va a hacer difícil mi discernimiento.

Entonces, cruzamos.  En total era un decisión peligroso y tonto, hecho de pequeños decisiones no tan tonto, casi razonable.   Pero debemos recordar que era acerca nuestras propias vidas: no estábamos decidiendo la vida de alguien otro.  Creo que siempre estoy mas cuidadoso con los demás que con mi mismo.  Yo se mis habilidades y limites pero no se los de los demás. Tal vez es un equivocación, pero es siempre lo que pasa.

Seguimos caminando, con el conocimiento que no pudimos regresar.  Si hubo un otro derrumbe estaríamos atrapados.

Todavía había lluvia. Después 2 mas kilómetros llegando a la primero parte de la catarata (Gocta tiene 2 partes, una arriba y un abajo).  En la temporada seco la catarata es bien grande pero muy estrecho.  Ahora en la temporada de lluvia era muy muy grande y poderoso.  Intentamos a acercarnos pero no pudimos, era demasiado poderoso.  Era como un huracán.  Las gotas era como cuchillos, el viento como puños. Escondimos abajo de una colina y cada minuto o dos minutos tuvimos una vista de la catarata sin neblina.  Era como en la película "Up."  Una cosa tan grande, usualmente escondido pero de repente visible, como un juego de "esconde y busca" con una de las cosas mas gigante, poderosa, y hermosa en todo el mundo.  Nunca había estado tan cerca a algo tan poderoso.  Yo sentí exactamente como me encanta sentir: pequeño.  No puedo explicar que tan pequeño yo me sentí, pero era perfecto.  Yo creo que humanos deben sentir pequeños en comparación al medio ambiente.  Solo tenemos poder cuando trabajamos juntos y entre relaciones.  Enfrente de este catarata, que era solo 1/3 del tamaño de la catarata en total, yo sentí como yo debo sentirme.

Con el poder de la catarata estábamos bien bien mojados.  Tan mojados que estábamos seguros que aunque siguió lloviendo no era posible a mojarnos mas.  Hay un sentido de tranquilidad raro cuando eres tan mojado que la lluvia no puede mojarse mas.

Después el huracán fuimos al mirador abajo.  Teníamos prisa porque ya eran las 4 y tuvimos que que estarnos abajo a la carretera a las 7.  Pero nos paramos en el mirador par ver la catarata completo por algún tiempo.  Por 10 minutos no había nubes ni neblina.  Comimos uno de los mangos mas rico de todo nuestras vidas (es la verdad que el ubicación, le compañía, y el conversación pueden mejorar cada cena...mejor dicho, cada experiencia).

Seguimos bajando.  Decidimos que no tuvimos tiempo para ir a la catarata abajo, pero seguramente no nos falta mucho: había un nube de agua de la catarata con mas de 100 metros de altura.  Como ya habíamos visto y experimentado arriba.

Llegamos a el pueblo al otro lado. Seguido lloviendo.  Desde este pueblo hay 6 kilómetros hasta la carretera.  Eran las 6.  Empezamos corriendo abajo para llegar a la carretera a las 7, como era nuestro plan.  Cuando preguntamos la gente arriba sobre la carretera ellos nos dijeron que hubo un grande derrumbe y nadie puede pasar.  Con sus descripciones pareció que hubo uno (y solo uno) grande derrumbe y había una fila de carros en los dos direcciones.  Decidimos que si llegamos pronto, tal vez sería un carro regresando a chachapoyas en el otro lado del derrumbe.  Seguimos corriendo.

Llegamos antes 7, pero no tuvimos linternas y ya estaba casi obscuro.

Tuvimos problemas.  Habíamos traído suficiente dinero y comida para regresar a chachapoyas para cenar.  No tuvimos suficiente por un hostal ni por
cena y transporte.  Por eso, y también por la esperanza que un carro seria esperando en el otro lado del derrumbe, decidimos a ver si estuve algo en el otro lado.

Con estos ingredientes empezamos otra vez con lecciones sobre decisiones.

Habíamos decidido a ir al derrumbe solamente para ver si había los luces de los carros en el otro lado.  Cuando llegamos al derrumbe era muy grande, pero hubo linternas en el otro lado.  No había luces del carro pero si, había trabajadores allá.  Decidimos a intentar a cruzar porque ellos estaban allá y probablemente ellos tendrían un carro para traerlos a sus hogares después el trabajo de la noche.  Era un decisión casi razonable si uno con un poco de riesgo, pero solo para intentar no tenia bastante riesgo, no?

:)

Ah Stewart.  Todavía no había recordando que cuando yo empiezo algo siempre quiero terminarlo.

Cuando llegamos al otro lado los trabajadores nos dijeron que donde estuvimos no era seguro.  El primero derrumbe era de piedras - algunos el tamaño de un bus.  Era la anchura de un cuadra.  Y ya no hubo luz.  Teníamos miedo para regresar, y vimos un otro luz de un trabajador mas adelante.  Nos convencimos a ir a este luz porque otra vez tuvimos esperanza que el era un trabajador y creímos que por su puesto los trabajadores van a tener un carro viniendo.

Pero, para llegar donde estaba el luz, tuvimos que cruzar un grande derrumbe de barro.  No supimos que había mas derrumbes que uno.  Creo que ciertamente si habíamos dado cuenta que había mas derrumbes que uno no habríamos ido buscando un carro.

De todos maneras, en este momento estábamos entre dos derrumbes inestables, sin linternas o luz, con miedo para avanzar o regresar.  Pero, creímos que en el otro lado del derrumbes habrá un carro regresando con los trabajadores.  Decidimos a seguir hasta el luz del trabajador.

Todavía siguió lloviendo.  Y con lluvia hay derrumbes.

Cuando estábamos cruzando el derrumbe de barro el siguió cayendo.  Miguel ya había cruzado pero yo estaba atrás y el barro de arriba se cayó entré 1 metro de mi cabeza.  Yo inmediatamente corrí atrás para escapar mi muerte.  Barro estaba cayendo por todos lados, yo yo estaba corriendo en barro - lentamente y escurridizo.

Yo escapé, con solo manchas de barro.

Yo escapé, pero ahora Miguel estaba en un lado del derrumbe y yo estaba en el otro. Miguel creó que yo estuve muerto.  Yo necesité cruzar otra vez.

Yo corrí y corrí sin poder a ver y por fin tuve éxito.

No se porque pero yo no tuve miedo durante este episodio.  Me sentí ... protegido.  Nunca antes yo había orado tanto así.

Hablamos con el trabajador y el nos dijo que no habrá un carro esta noche, y que había mucho mas derrumbes arriba en el calle.

Estábamos atrapados.  Entre derrumbes por todos lados, con lluvia y 4 trabajadores sin esperanza de rescate, estábamos atrapados.  Solamente eran las 7:30.

Había un pequeña cueva abajo de que era seco.  Miguel, los 4 trabajadores, y yo decidimos a pasar la noche allá.

Era una noche terrible.  Lleno de miedo.  El río era justo 10 metros lejos y estaba creciendo.  Si un derrumbe lo atascaría, nuestra cueva seria lleno de agua inmediatamente.  Y había mas derrumbes.  Cada 20 minutos escuchamos un nuevo grande.  Ellos sonarán como trueno, y la tierra agitó.  Si hubo un derrumbe de barro arribe de nosotros habríamos estado ahogados inmediatamente.

Por 11 horas  nos quedamos allá, esperando algo terrible a pasar.  Dormimos no mas que 30 minutos.  Estábamos mojados y teníamos frío por eso.

Gracias a Radiolab sobrevivimos.  Escuchamos a 6 o 7 episodios de este programa durante la noche.

Cuando el sol llegó a las 6 fuimos caminando a chachapoyas.  Creímos todavía que después el ultimo derrumbe estaría un carro o taxi que podria traernos a nuestro hogar.

Lo que no adivinamos es que había 15 kilómetros de derrumbes.

Cruzamos mas que 70 derrumbes.  La mayoría eran pequeños, solo atascando carros.  Pero había más o menos 20 grandes de barro o piedras o los dos.

No había lluvia este día, gracias a dios.

Por fin encontramos un taxista quien pudo traernos a chachapoyas.  Cuando llegamos inmediatamente fuimos al mercado para comer ceviche. Y después dormimos desde 2 hasta 9.

Estábamos seguros, pero estábamos bien confundidos sobre como llegamos en este situación.

Este es lo que he aprendido.

1) decisiones tontos son mas fácil a hacer cuando solo afectan tu mismo - o, mejor dicho, cuando conoces sus limites puede les acercarse mas fácilmente que cuando sus actiones van a empujar o requerir los demás a hacer lo mismo.   Cuando hay un grupo (usualmente) tienes que proveer información y ánimo al grupo si eres el líder, pero no puedes decidir (usualmente) por todo el grupo con cosas peligrosas.  Claro hay situaciones en que todos van a esperar y respetar tu decisión, pero esos son peligrosos su mismo y tambien son raros.
2) decisiones tontos pueden ser hecho de muchos decisiones pequeños y casi razonables.
3) tengo que recordar que cuando yo empiezo algo siempre voy a querer a terminarlo, aun si el situación es mas peligroso que yo había pensado.
4) cuando no tienes todo el información es mas fácil a hacer un decisión que luego puedes ver era tonto - aveces este es porque alguien quiere manipularte y para hacer este ellos dan solo piezas del información.  Aveces este es porque nadie sabe todo ni puede contarte mas.

Yo estoy recordado que yo odio manipulación.  Este situación era el segundo tipo cuando nadie supo más, pero debo enseñar sobre mi mismo:  yo creo que sus acciones y decisiones definir su carácter y si alguien te manipula a hacer algo que no es normal para ti con piezas de información, el esta te usando y el esta cambiando tu carácter por su propia metas.  Ug.  Yo odio este.  Soy un kantian al respecto.

Ok.

Este es suficiente por este cuento.  Ahora conozco bien como siente a "dormir" afuera, mojado, y con miedo de muerte.  Es suficiente para recordarme en los lecciones arriba la próxima vez que estoy en un situación en que tengo la oportunidad a hacer decisiones pequeños que pueden añadir en un grande decisión de que no puedo regresar.

Es suficiente para entender mi mismo un poco mejor.

Gracias a dios sobrevivimos.

No estoy seguro en cuanto mas cuidadoso voy a ser la próxima vez, pero seguramente voy a entender que esta me empujando, y con este conocimiento de mi mismo puedo investigar los posibilidades antes el punto de donde no puedo regresar.

Amor/amen
Siempre


Stewart
--------------------------------------------

43. Two days in Chachapoyas: the cataracta Gocta.

Yes yes yes I have yet tales of Ecuador. But. I have pictures of Ecuador that I still have to upload to tell those stories. Without photos the stories will be boring.

So, I'll skip those that need photos and tell only those that need words.

Yes there are photos of this story but the story is enough without pictures for now, I'll add them later.

Miguel and I arrived at 6 am in Chachapoyas, a city in the jungle. After three hours deciding what we should do we went to a little town called San Pablo to go to waterfall Gocta, the third highest waterfall worldwide.

We left a little late but not much. The bus dropped us at the cross of San Pablo, from where we hiked for an hour to the village. In San Pablo we paid the entrance and went to the waterfall.

One thing I forgot to say, there was rain. A lot of rain. When we were arriving there was a collapse in the road, but we could pass by it. But the road is in a valley next to a river, and everything was falling throughout the valley. There were waterfalls of mud and stones on the other side. It was ..... awesome. and dangerous.

It is interesting how many times these two emotions are together.

Anyway, we walked to the waterfall. The rain continued.

This story has lessons, as always with me. :).

The lesson here is about decisions. In truth I do not know what is right and what is wrong. I only know that it is rather complicated. But I do know this: sometimes the right decision is so difficult to make, and sometimes the wrong decision is so attractive. Sometimes the options do not have a clear answer, only a more dangerous and more careful. The important thing to remember is sometimes it is easy to convince you to make a bad decision (or rather a silly decision) a small, not bad decision at a time. This is that story.

We found some backpackers returning after three kilometers. They told us that there were some landslides in the path, a large one happened immediately in front of them. They suggested we should go back because it was too dangerous.

That was the first big decision of our little adventure. We decided to keep walking until the fall to see how dangerous it was.

After 30 minutes more walking we reached the landslide. It did not seem so dangerous at the start, and remember that I had dengue until one week ago so I was very tired and really did not want to go back because of my tiredness. We decided to try to cross. That was the second choice a little silly, but just a little. Just try to cross. But after four meters were afraid to return but it was wider than we thought, and also more dangerous. But you know the sense that when you start something you need to finish it? Yeah, we felt this.

Lesson: When I make a decision I must remember that I will always have this feeling, and this will make my judgment difficult.

So we crossed. Overall it was a dangerous and foolish decision, made of small decisions not so stupid, almost reasonable. But we must remember that it was about our own lives: we were not deciding the life of someone else. I'm always more careful with others than myself. I know my abilities and limits but not those of others. Maybe it's a mistake, but it always happens.

We kept walking, knowing that we could not return. If there was another collapse would be trapped.

There was still rain. After two more kilometers we reached the first part of waterfall (Gocta has two parts, one above and one below). In the dry season the waterfall is very big but very narrow. Now in the rainy season it was very very big and powerful. We tried to get closer but could not, it was too powerful. It was like a hurricane. Drops felt like knives, the wind like fists. We hid below a hill and every minute or two minutes we had a view of the falls without mist. It was like the movie "Up" A huge thing, usually hidden but suddenly visible, like a game of "hide and seek" with one of the things most giant, powerful, and beautiful in the world. I had never been so close to something so powerful. I felt exactly how I love to feel: small. I can not explain how I felt small, but it was perfect. I think humans should feel small compared to the environment. We only have power when we work together and within relationships. In front of this waterfall, which was only 1/3 the size of the waterfall in total, I felt like I should feel.

With the power of the falls were super wet. So wet that we were sure that although it continued raining it was not possible to get wet more. There is a strange sense of calm when you're so wet you can not get wet in the rain more.

After the Hurricane we went down to the "lookout." We were in a hurry because it already was 4 and we had a plan for us to be down to the road at 7. But we stood in the lookout looking at the complete pair of waterfall for some time. For 10 minutes there were no clouds or fog. We ate one of the richest mangos of all our lives (it's true that the location, your company, and conversation can improve every dinner ... rather, every experience).

We continue down. We decided we did not have time to go down to the lower waterfall, but probably would not see much new stuff: there was a cloud of water of the waterfall over 100 meters high. As we had seen and experienced up above.

We arrived at the village on the other side. It continued raining. From this village it was six miles to the road. It was 6 pm. We started running down to get to the road at 7, as was our plan. When we asked people on the road down they told us that there was a big rockslide and no one can pass. With the descriptions it seemed that there was one (and only one) big collapse and there was a line of cars in both directions. We decided that if we arrived early enough, there might be a car returning to Chachapoyas on the other side of the landslide. We ran.

We arrived before 7, but we had no flashlights and it was almost dark.

We had problems. We brought enough money and food to return to Chachapoyas for dinner. We did not have enough for a hostel or to buy dinner and transportation. For this reason, and also for the hope that a car would be waiting on the other side of the collapse, we decided to see if there was something on the other side.

With these ingredients we start again with lessons on making decisions.

We had decided to go to the landslide only to see if there were lights of cars on the other side. When we reached the landslide it was very large, but there were only headlamps on the other side. There were no car lights, but if there were workers there. We decided to try to cross because they were there and probably they would have a car to bring them home after work in the evening. It was a reasonable decision if one with a little risk, but only to try does not have so much risk, no?

:)

Ah Stewart. Still I had not remembered that when I start something I always want to finish it.

When we came across the workers told us where we was not safe. The first landslide was huge stones - some the size of a bus. It was the width of a block. And now there was no light. We were afraid to return, and we saw another headlight from a worker further along. We convinced ourselves to go to the light because we had hope again that he was a worker and of course believed that workers will have a car coming.

But, to get to where the light was, we had to cross a large landslide of mud. We did not know that there was more than one landslide. I think certainly if we had realized there was more than one landslide we would not have gone looking for a car.

In any case, at this time we were between two unstable landslide, no flashlights or light, afraid to move forward or back. But we felt that on the other side of the landslide a car will come back for the workers. We decided to follow the worker's light across this second mudslide.

Still it continued raining. And with rain there are landslides.

When we were crossing the landslide of the mud began to fall again. Miguel had already crossed but I was behind and mud fell within 1 meter from my head. I immediately ran back to escape my death. Mud was falling everywhere, and I was running in mud - slow and slippery.

I escaped with only mud stains.

I escaped, but now Michael was on one side of the must slide and I was on the other. Miguel thought I was dead. I needed to cross again.

I ran and ran without being able to see and finally I succeeded.

Do not know why but I was not afraid during this episode. I felt ... protected. Never before had I prayed so much.

We talked to the worker and he told us that there would not be a car tonight, and there was much more landslides up the street.

We were trapped.  Between landslides everywhere, rain and with 4 workers without hope of rescue, we were stuck. It was only 7:30.

There was a small cave below which was dry. Miguel, the four workers, and I decided to spend the night there.

It was a terrible night. Full of fear. The river was just 10 meters away and was growing. If a landslide clogged it, our cave would be filled with water immediately. And there was more landslides. Every 20 minutes we heard a new big one. They sound like thunder, and the earth shook. If there was a landslide of mud immediately we would have been drowned.

For 11 hours we were there, waiting for something terrible to happen. We slept no more than 30 minutes. We were wet and because of that were cold.

Thanks to Radiolab survived. We listened to 6 or 7 episodes of this program overnight.

When the sun arrived at 6 we walked to Chachapoyas. We still believed that after the last collapse there would be a car or taxi that could bring us to our home.

What we did not guess is that there were 15 more kilometers of landslides.

We crossed more than 70 landslides. Most were small, only stopping cars. But there were about 20 that were large and of stones or mud or both.

There was no rain this day, thank God.

We finally found a taxi driver who  could bring us to Chachapoyas. Then we immediately went to the market to eat ceviche. Then we slept from 2 to 9.

We were safe, but we were still really confused about how we got in this situation.

This is what I learned.

1) dumb decisions are easier to make when only affect yourself - or, rather, when they know your limits you can approach them more easily than when your actions will push or require others to do the same. When with a group you (usually) have to provide information and encouragement to the group if you are the leader, but you can not decide (usually) for the whole group what to do with dangerous things. Of course there are situations where everyone will wait and respect your decision, but those are themselves dangerous situations and rare.
2) stupid decisions can be made of many small almost reasonable decisions
3) I have to remember that when I start something I'll always want to finish it, even if the situation is more dangerous than I had thought.
4) when you do not have all the information is easy to make a decision that you can later see was stupid - sometimes this is because someone wants to manipulate and to do this they give only pieces of information. Sometimes this is because no one knows everything and can tell you more.

I am reminded that I hate manipulation. This story was the second type of situation when nobody knew more, but I should teach you about myself: I believe that your actions and decisions define your character and if someone manipulates you to do something that is not normal for you with pieces of information, they are using you and changing your character for their own goals. Ug. I hate this. I am a Kantian in this respect.

Ok.

This is enough for this story. Now I know well how it feels to "sleep" outside, wet and afraid of death. It is enough to remind me of the lessons above the next time I'm in a situation where I have the opportunity to make small decisions that can add up to a big decision from which I can not return.

It is enough to understand myself a little better.

Thank God we survived.

I'm not sure how much more careful ill be next time, but I certainly understand what is pushing me, and with this knowledge of myself I can investigate the possibilities before the point where I can not return.

Love/love
Always

Stewart

Friday, March 15, 2013

42.  Tena


Tena

Cerca a Shell hay un ciudad se llama Tena.  Tena es famoso por la selva.  Es la puerta de la selva.  Fuimos a tena con Alfredo y sus hijos para ir a las cuevas y una lugar secreto se llama "laguna azul."

Si si si no se preocupe hay fotos.  Acá.  :)

Amor
Amen
Siempre

Stewart

------------------------------------------------


42. Tena


Tena

Close to Shell is a town called Tena. Tena is famous for the jungle. It is the gate of the forest. We went with Alfredo Tena and their children to go to the caves and secret place called "Blue Lagoon."

Yes yes yes do not worry there are pictures. Here. :)

love
Amen
always

Stewart
40.

Desde "el problema de pobreza."

Los puntos claves:

----------------------------------------------------------

From "The problem of poverty"

The key points:


Religion is not something that we do. It's is not one thing among many.  Religion, or better, a relationship/obedince to God  should be the all encompassing goal and purpose of life.

Happiness is a relative concept, not absolute. If you awaken desires you cannot satisfy you take upon yourself a grand responsibility and commit an act of longstanding cruelty.

One must see in the poor not just an unfortunate person in wretched circumstances but rather your brother. Someone of your own flesh and blood.

Communion is a social critique: everyone, poor, rich, young old sits at the same table and eats the same meal.
39. Desde el taller de enseñanza participativo

Los puntos claves:

---------------------------------------------

From The participatory learning course.


some key points:

There are things that we believe about adult education (or at least act like we believe) that are false.
-everyone wants to learn
-everyone learns the same way
-everyone learns at the same speed
-once learned, knowledge is forever
-memorized information can be called upon and used.
-everyone can integrate or apply knowledge once learned

The important part is to not only recognize that the above are false but to change our teaching to reflect that we know they are false.
Solutions?
-always be a (purposefully visible) example.  This way you continuously provide passive teaching. Those who don't want to learn will observe this passive education and perhaps will pick up more that they would be willing to incorporate with standard teaching.
-adults need relevance. Do not teach something that is not relevant to them. Thus you must start with things that either are already relevant or teach why something should be relevant.
-they also need: self directed learning (they will learn only if they want to learn something), practical (with examples of actionable steps), current, must solve a problem (meaning they must accept and acknowledge problems), self discovery (don't just tell them...but lead them to it at most, and must be action oriented.  Finally, they learn best when comfortable socially.
38. Donde no hay doctor

Los puntos claves


Jobs of the promotora:
a) be kind. Treat others as equals (what would I do if it were a member of my own family?) and treat the sick as people (be kind to their families too, especially those who are dying)
b) share your knowledge. Teachteachteach. How to keep from getting sick, how to recognize and manage your illness. Including home remedies and common medicines
c) respect your peoples traditions and ideals. Use them in combination. If something is dangerous you should work carefully and respectfully to change it. Recognize that change will be slow and careful.
d) know your limits. Do not try things you have not had enough experience doing. Know how far away help is. If it is close do less, if it is far you should often try what you can. If the danger is greater if you do nothing do not be afraid to try something if you can be reasonably sure that it will help.
e) keep learning. Study more, study often. Do not pass up a change to take a refresher course. If your first job is to teach and you do not keep learning sooner or later you will run out if things to teach.
f) practice what you teach. Have a latrine before you ask others to do so. Wash hands. Do all that you teach in an obvious and public way.
g) work for the joy if it. This work is improving your villiage and helping your friends and family to be healthier. Do not work for money but for the joy of service. Never refuse to care for someone who cannot pay.
h) look ahead. Do not wait for people to get sick. Take action and teach others to take action to protect health. Look for causes of death and disease that may seem a stretch: like economic, family or social.

Things that affect healthcare: Food protection, land distribution, education, personal relationships,  Short sightedness and greed.
Health is well being in body, mind, community, soul and spirit.

Your concern is for all the people, not just the ones you know or even the ones that come to you. Go to your people, understand their fears, joys, concerns, habits, diets, schools, fields.

Felt needs: what the people see as their biggest problems ie a chough
Real needs: the specific steps needed to correct these problems: ie stop smoking to correct the cough
Willingness: are they ready to address the real needs to get at the felt needs?
Resources: persons, skills, materials, money needed to carry out activites decided upon.

Needs assessments should be short and important to your area. Felt needs, housing and sanitation, population, nutrition, land and food, healing and health, self help

Use local resources to address needs:  the most valuable resource for health us the people themselves. Consider people number, people skills, materials at hand, local organizations, religion, local business, leaders, and connections.

Nutrition:  the most important question of health.  the first question is enough food, not which foods to choose. (solutions:family gardens, contour ditches, irrigation of land, beekeeping, fish breeding, natural fertilizers, food storage, smaller families, rotation of crops - some plants return nutrients to the soil: beans, peas, lentils, alfalfa, peanuts, or other plant with seeds in pods).

A healthworker must know ways to help the land feed people. Family planning and land balance help, but many children often is social security. Family planning works when it is the peoples choice.

The social meaning of love is justice.

Importantly, while nutrition is prolly the #1 concern, you must first address the sick and suffering. Immediate needs before long term. This builds trust. Thus one must teach them to treat minor illnesses in casa as prevention. Early treatment is a form of prevention. Treatment is a doorway to prevention.

Medicine counts as a “dependence inducing outside resource.”

Cough: water and warm water vapor. Cold: liquids rest aspirin.

Diarrhea: water and food!

When trying a new idea start small: start it yourself. Test with different conditions to maximize your crop. Change one condition at a time!

Many things do good only because we believe they do good. Many things do harm only because people believe they are harmful.
Babies should be kept dry until their imbilical stump falls off.

Willow bark tea delivered aspirin.

Rules for home remedies: how to tell if it is not helpful:
a) the more remedies there ere the less likely any of them work
b) foul or disgusting remedies do not help and are often dangerous
c) remedies using human or animal waste are dangerous and harmful
d) the more a remedy resembles the illness the less kiely it is to work.

Plants:
Angels trumpet: very dangerous hallucinogen but good in small doses for intestinal cramps, gallbladder pain, stomach aches. 2 leaves, 7 tablespoons of water. 10-15 drops per hour
Corn silk: tea from this is a powerful diuretic.
Garlic: 4 cloves, mixed with 1 glass of liquid to kill pinworms. 1 glass daily for 3 weeks.
Cactus: (Cardon cactus). Can be used to clean wounds and stop bleeding.  Use a clean knife and cut a chinch out (a disc from and arm is good). Place on wound with pressure.
Aloe Vera: burns and wounds. You can also make a drink with pieces soaked in water overnight then drinking slimy sour liquid every 2 hours to treat gastritis and ulcers.
Ripe papayas have tonnes of vitamins.  Especially good for weak old people. Also the juice from the trunk when cut or a green papaya when mixed with equal parts honey or sugar and then mixed in hot water will treat intestinal worms.  Or use dried and powdered seeds with honey and water 3x daily for 7 days.  This milk from green fruit or trunk can also help clean pressure sores: soak a sterile cloth in it and dead skin will fall right off.

To stop a back of the nose bleed: pack it, or tilt head forward and have them hold a cork on their mouth to keep them from swallowing and thereby disrupting the forming clot.

Cooking in an iron pan, or cooking with some iron in a pan gets you iron. Cooking with tomatoes gets you even more.

Nutrition for the poor:  main food to provide daily energy: cerals, grains, starches (potatoe, banana, plantain, breadfruit, wheat,maize, rice. Pasta, etc). Add energy helpers to get enough calories per day without eating so much. (fats, foods rich in fat: coconut, olives; nuts, oils, sugars).  Add protective foods (veggies and fruits) and body building foods (proteins like nuts, legumes, oil seeds, and animal products) whenever possible. The big battle is to eat enough calories each day.

Put iron nails in lemon juice then make lemonade from the juice: get some iron!
37.  Crazy love.

Los puntos claves:


On the love of God: imagine the love of a parent for their child.  Not only do they want to express their love for that child, they also want to be loved in return.  They want to give lots of and beautiful things like security, support, allowances, house, hugs, etc.  But they do not want love for the gifts, they want love for the giver, rather they want to be loved for their love.  Same with god.  He gives us beautiful things (love itself, waterfalls, canyons, humanity, morality, support, etc). But we should remember to love him as well as the beautiful things.  This also means he wants us to seek him, seek opportunities to love him, seek opportunities to meet him.
The best of all of us is god shining through.  He gives us good things so we can remember to thank him for it, he gives us troubles so we can remember to rely on him and praise him through it.
The story of life in general is about god and his love for us, not about us.  As such Por loves should be about pointing out his love, not about out ability yo love.  He will last, we will not.  Point to what will last.
Be calm.  Worry less.  The most important part is that god loves me.  Not anything else, and I have that in the bag. We all do.  We just need to remember this.  Life is  short, live like you believe in heaven.
We pray for safety....but is it not better to pray for his glory from whatever happens to us?
One cannot gauge goodness by comparison to other people.  Por only accurate goodness gauge is god.  He is who we should strive to be like.  Better than our neighbor still is not good enough.
1 Corinthians 2-3 is just as good as 4-7
1 john 3:16-20: do not love with words or tongue about with actions and in truth.  If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother in need and does not help him how can the love of god be in him?
We are called to spend ourselves in service of others.  We are hands and feet, not just bags of money.
God invites us to test him in only one area - finances.  Give more than you can and see if he takes care of you.
Love your neighbor as yourself means more than I thought. It means what you want for yourself you want for them, what you don't want for yourself you don't want for them.
Love exercise.  Take "love is patient, love is kind" and replace all the "loves" with your name.  Are you lying ever?
Imagine that everyone you meet is Christ.  How would you act differently?  ('What you have done for the least of them you have done for me, what you have not done for them you have not done for me.")
The best part about us is god. He gives us blessing so we can thank him, he give us troubles so we can show the world we love him still.

The Story of life is gods. Not ours. We should live to extend his influence, not our own.   Our life is a vapor compared to his so we should use our life to reflect his.

Be calm. The most important thing in the world is that god loves me, and that's in the bag. Worry less. This life is less important than you think.  Live like you believe in heaven.

In the parable of the seeds and weeds, do not assume you are good soil. Most of us are weedy patches of crap. Thorns and weeds are anything that distracts us from god.
36. Foreign to familiar

La cosa mas important con este libro es que tengo que reconocer que voy a trabajar con personas que tienen un estilo muy diferente que lo mio.  No debo cambiar, pero también no debo esperar que ellos van a cambiar.  Solo debemos respectar las diferencias y sigue trabajando juntos, intentando a amplificar los partes buenos de nuestros estilos y disminuir los partes difícil.

Ellos van a ser muy diferente y van a comportarse muy diferente, y no debo volverme enojado por los diferencias inevitable.

Los puntos claves:

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The most important thing with this book is that I have to admit that I work with people who have a very different style than mine. I must not change, but I should not expect that they will change. We just have to respect the differences and continue working together, trying to amplify the good parts of our styles and lower parts difficult.

They will be very different, will behave very differently, and I must not become angry about the inevitable differences.

The key points:


Cultures of the world are largely divided in two: "hot climate vs cold climate."  Hot climates are based on relationships, cold climate is task oriented.  All hot climate communication has the goal of promoting a feel good friendly atmosphere.  The job is delayed at times to attend to the relationship.  Truth is less important than the relationship. It is disrespectful to get to the point without exchanging pleasantries first.  Cold climates answer factually and objectively irrespective of the feel good mood. They will neglect feelings to get the job done.  Efficiency and time hold sway, it is good to respect other peoples time by not wasting it.
Hots will respond to direct questions in anyway that makes the mood friendly, even if bit constrains inaccurate info or is yes when really they want to say no.  Ways around this that are perfectly acceptable: asking indirect questions, having a third party ask for you.
Colds value time and efficiency. Get to the point.  The truth hurts sometimes.  Etc.
Hots are taught that they belong gonna family, a culture, a community. Your actions reflect on the whole group.  You speak for the whole group.  You must share food, resources, opinions, homes, etc.  You serve the whole.
Colds are taught they they are individuals, independent.  They must take care of themselves.  No one will help them.  You represent yourself and no one else.
In countries where there has been wealth for generations the orientation is for comfort and convenience.  Most counties the orientation is towards justice and survival. The flavor of food is meaningless compared to it calorie count.  Feasts indicate generosity, and important cultural practice.  You have to try everything because not doing so is forsaking generosity.
In group cultures leaders tell everyone what to do, and they follow commands.  Colds allow for innovation and initiative from all group members. Hots are raised to suffer for the sake of the group.  Colds are taught to let their opinions be known truthfully.
Hots value inclusion.  If it is in your presence you are invited.  Privacy seems exclusive and is not valued highly.  Food is huge: you alllllllways share what you have.  Its less about food and more about sharing what you have.  Those who have less still share.  But everything is shared so no one notices the haves and have nots.
Hospitality always have involves food or drink.  For hots this has to be in the home: it is an offer to relate to them personally, to forge a relationship through which they can do business.  Restaurants are not personal enough.  Casually, they will never forfeit hospitality for time alone.
Hots provide everything for visitors and guests, colds expect them to take care of themselves.  Remember this when entertaining a guest from a hot country.
Cultures are often high or low context.  If they have developed for a long time in relative cultural isolation they are high context.  This means that traditions exist and matter.  Low context is a constant mind boif non dominant cultures leading to a culture with no serious cultural rules.  When entering a high context society you need to realize that you carry no weight and who you know really matters.  If thou are introduced or associated with the right people you will be accepted by association.  Clothing matters.  It shows you respect their culture. It shows you take their context seriously.  Informality (not using a title when addressing someone) is disrespectful.   In high context countries greeting are important.  Take the time to show respect, sincerity, and attention, even if you don't know proper protocol.
35. Blue like jazz.

Los decisiones:
- otra vez es un libro sobre el grande problema de humanidad: nosotros nos mismos estamos sirviendo siempre.  La cosa es que es bien difícil a hacer algo diferente.  Debo decidir en algunos acciones especificas para empezar:
1) voy a trabajar mas con el gobierno para crear leyes que va a proteger los mas vulnerables.
2) voy a sentarme y hablar con los que no tiene un hogar.
3) voy a traer comida para dar a ellos que tienen hambre.
4) voy a dar mas dinero a kiva.
5) voy a intentar a elevar las expectativas de mi sociedad y enseñar los demás por que es importante a vivir como este.
6) voy a tratar cada persona como ellos son mis hermanos o hermanas.
Con estos voy a empezar.

Los puntos claves:


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35. Blue Like Jazz.

The decision:
- Again is a book on the great problem of humanity: we are always serving ourselves. The thing is that it is very difficult to do something different. I should decide to start some specific actions:
1) I will work with the government to create laws that will protect the most vulnerable.
2) I will sit down and talk to those who do not have a home.
3) I will bring food to give them hungry.
4) I will give more money to kiva.
5) I will try to raise my expectations of society and teach others that it is important to live like this.
6) I will treat each person as they are my brothers and sisters.
I'll start with these.

The key points


Jesus calls us to do so many things.  Why don't we do them?
If we could fix our self absorption we could fix a lot of problems in the world.
Jesus didn't play favorites.  He loved all who were broken.  Aka all.
Don't be too proud to receive gods charity.  Its called grace.  We don't deserve it.
God should a being with whom we interact, who we believe likes us and wants to be with us.  The way I miss those I love he misses me.  The way I am lonely or feel their absence when they don't call or write, he feels for me.
Faith in god produces humanitarianism.  At least it should.
Love certainly has some data involved, but mostly it is a deep deep conviction.  Something that happens to you more than you actually control it.  Life is about this thing, there really is no option for it to be about anything else.
We follows pop culture icons not because we resonate with what theory believe but because they are cool.  We desperately want to Be cool: to have acceptance that is far reaching and impactful.   Sometimes we believe things because they are cool or trendy to believe, and what we say de believe because a trend statement.  It is so important to actually believe things.  See below for what that looks like.
People hardly care what you believe, as long as you believe something.  If you believe something passionately people will follow You.
Spirituality should rid you of hate, not give you reasons to hate the other.
Love people because they exist.  Its the only reason you need.
The machinery of attraction does not shut down after you walk down the isle.  You will find other people hot.  You will not find them as attractive as your wife.  This is because marriage is teamwork, and teamwork is very attractive.
Nobody will listen to you unless they sense you like them.
Every conversation has two parts.  The words you say: the surface, the subject.  The second is a heart conversation: you communicate whether you like this person or not.
Too often we use love like a currency: we reward those people we like and chastise those we do not.  We withhold love to punish or change people.
The fact that people exist is reason enough to love them.  Others are important because they exist.  They are just as important as you and there are so man more of them.
It is so much easier to be selfish than selfless.
What you believe is not what you say you believe.  What you believe is what you do.
It is a lot more difficult to live for something than to die for it.  Dying for something is associated with glory, with a single momentary decision, with a strong will at a single time.  Living for something requires daily decisions, daily sacrifices, daily action and reaffirmation. It goes beyond glory and recognition and fashion because you must continue.  And continue.  And continue.  A better question: what would you give your life for?
If you met Jesus, would he like you?  Lots of people don't like Christianity, but you will be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't like Jesus.
You never question the truth of anything until you have to explain it to a skeptic.
When in love it is finally easy to think of someone else before yourself.  So our job is to be in love with everyone?  Love is a little bit of heaven, isolation a little bit of hell.
Alone, lonely, loneliness are the most powerful words.  They are like hunger and thirst but for the soul.
The soul aches for companionship, relationship.  We need other people.
If we are not ready to wake up every morning and die to ourselves perhaps we should ask ourselves whether or not we are following Jesus.
You cannot let your self worth be derived from the love of others.  It has to be that god loves you.  Unconditionally. God wants you to receive his love and you love yourself.  Irrespective of the love we get from someone else.  Thus a key to happiness is the ability to receive love.  To accept the love of god and others.
34. El libro "el problema de dolor" por CSLewis.

Los decisions:
- cuando yo amo alguien, Será un amor muy fuerte y retando.  Yo voy a querer  lo mejor por y de mi amor, y no va a soportar o desatender acciones malas.  Y espero que ella va a hacer lo mismo.
- yo siervo mi mismo demasiado.  Debo enfocar me en como puedo servir los demás con mas de mi vida.  La cosa importante: yo podría servir con cosas simples, como tiempo o influencia.

Los puntos claves:

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34. The book "The Problem of Pain" by CS Lewis.

The decisions:
- When I love someone, this love will be a very strong and challenging. I'm going to want the best for and of my love, and will not support or ignoring bad actions. And I hope she will do the same.
- I serve myself too much. I should focus on how I can I serve others with more of my life. The important thing: I could serve with simple things like time or influence.

The key points:


Love is more than kindness. Love rebukes, it cares if you act poorly and wants you to be the best you can.

There are 4 types of love exhibited by God for us:
a) Artist to artifact: we are something that god is making, and he is a perfectionist. In this sense love is an intolerable compliment. He loves the work so much that he will take endless time and effort to make it as he wants it.
b)  man for beast. By taming dog man makes it more loveable. In it's normal state it had habits making it incapable or receiving love. By housetraining, baths, etc we allow us yo love the dog fully. While being trained the puppy must doubt our goodness but once trained and thus able to receive our love fully there are no such doubts.
c) father for son. Authoratove love from the father, obedient love from the son (us). The father desires to make his son the best he possibly can be.  Able to reprimand and punish to mold the son into the type of human he should be.
d) man for woman and woman for man. This also means that we act as an adulturess when we stray. We care immensley and while we will live in spite of and through infirmities and darkess, but will not cease to wish their end. Love is more sensative than hatred to blemishes of the soul.

Love in this way is not a senile benevolence that wishes Shiney happy times irrespective of the effects.

We need to be needed.

We are the pursued in this love. He seeks us. We must respond.

Gods guidance pushes us to what is better for us, what we should want if we knew what was good for us. He demands worship, obedience, prostration not because he needs it but because this is when humans are best. God wills our good, and our good is to love him. (which, of course, we do by loving the least of us).

There is no greater sign of pride than thinking you are humble enough.

The fall of man: the choice to serve self, not completely god. Turning from god. The mere existence of self allows for self idolatry. The very moment we can become aware of god and ourselves we are faced with the choice of putting him or us first. It o our day and maybe we put part of it at gods feet but mostly we treat it as our day.  There is a perpetual insistence on the self. From a similar doctrine we know that man is happiest when obeying god, because he knows what is best, even if it is hard.  Thus the best state for humans is self surrender to god and his will. We are not merely bad at it, we are actively fighting against it.WE love our free will, and the idea of using free will to surrender it just seems ludicris. Hmmmm. (remember tantrums when our will was thwarted as a kid?). Well it's like that. But daily. Hourly. By the minute.

We can ignore pleasure. Pain is a lot harder to ignore

The universal feeling that bad men ought to suffer shows us that pain tell us that something is wrong. The fact that we want them to feel what we feel suggests we want them to feel the pain that their actions caised so that they know that they were in the wrong: so that they understand that this is a bad thing  because It causes pain and pain is from bad things.     It also appeals to the universal sense of justice.

Hobbes on revengefullness: it is the desire by doing hurt to another to make him condemn some fact of his own.

St augustine:  god wants to give us something, but cannot because our hands are full. When we are content and have all that we could possibly want we forget god. We use god as a parachute: for emergencies but we hope we will never have to use it.

We call it our own life when we should surrender it to him.

God wants us to turn to him. Doesn't matter to him whether it is because our life is wretched and we have nothing better or because of fear of hell.  He will take it.

There are two goods. The things or actions whic are good and then doing them not because they are good but because god tells us to.

Secondary thoughts on good. Simple good: basic stuff. Simple evil: produced by rebellious creatures. Exploitation of that evil to produce complex good which is accepted sin and repentance, and the reactionary good produced by our actions against the suffering that the evil inevitably produces.

Fasting asserts the will against the appetite.

Forgiveness to be complete must be both freely offered and freely accepted.

Blog numero 32.

Para contar mis experiencias en ecuador voy a escribir un articulo acerca cada uno de los libros que he leido aca.

Lei muchos libros cuando vivi aca, y estos eran un grande parte de mi educacion, y tambien tengo que revisar mis notas y decidir en que debo cambiar en mi vida real - tengo que encontrar que estos pensamientos significar por mi vida.

Entonces, primero, voy a discutir el libro que lei primero: "angels and demons" por whatshisname Dan Brown.

jaja, solo un chiste.  este libro era divertido, pero yo no aprendi nada de este.

el libro primero es "when helping hurts," acerca de desarrollo comunitario.

Primero son mis decisiones.   Los puntos claves de este libro son después todo, en ingles.

Decisiones:
- no debo sentirme pecaminoso por mi riqueza relativa.  Sin embargo, debo reconocer que porque hay este desigualidad con riqueza hay un grande problema con el sistema economico del mundo y de mi comunidad, y debo hacer algo con mi riqueza relativa para arreglarlo.
- pobreza no es un estado de los poseciones materiales solamente.  Debo reconocer que si alguien se falta algo en qualquier relacion es pobreza en este relacion.  Entonces, en mi Vida yo debo enfocarme en los relaciones en que estoy pobre relativamente, como mi relación espiritual.
- una cosa muy muy importante.  Tengo que recordar que dinero no es tan importante.  Debo disminuir su importancia en mi vida.
- yo quiero enfocarme en desarrollo mas que alivio.  La problema es que desarrollo es fácil en ecuador cuando los comunidades vienen a ti.  En los estados unidos, donde la gente ya tiene las cosas necesario por la vida, es mas difícil a motivarla.
- voy a enfocar en los bienes de los comunidades mas que los problemas.
- no voy a trabajar por un comunidad, solo con los comunidades.
- voy a saber cuando voy a salir un comunidad, y ellos del comunidad van a saber también.


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Blog number 32.

To tell my experiences in Ecuador I will write an article about each of the books I've read here.

I read many books when I lived here, and they were a big part of my education, and also I have to review my notes and decide what should I change in my real life - I have to find that these thoughts mean for my life.

So, first, I will discuss the first book I read: "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown whatshisname.

haha, just a joke. This book was fun, but I did not learn anything from this.

the first book is "when helping hurts," about community development.

First are my decisions. The key points of this book are after this in English.

Decisions:
- I should not feel guilty for my relative wealth. However, I must admit that because there is this unequal wealth there is a problem with the economic system of the world and my community, and I must do something with this relative wrealth to fix it.
- Poverty is not a state of only material possessions. I must acknowledge that if someone is missing something from Any relationship it is poverty in this relationship. Then, in my life I must focus on the relationships that I am relatively poor, as my spiritual relationship.
- A very important thing. I have to remember that money is not as important. I should decrease its importance in my life.
- I want to focus on development rather than relief. The problem is that development is easier in Ecuador when communities come to you. In the United States, where people already have the things necessary for life, is more difficult to motivate the people.
- Going to focus on the assets of the community rather than the problems.
- I will not work for a community, with the community only.
- I know when I will leave a community, and they of the community will know too.



We do not need to feel guilty about our wealth.  By we do need to wake up every morning with a deep sense that something is terribly wrong with the world and yearn and strive to do something about it.  Catch that?  Yearn and strive.  Strive being key.
First you must get them to listen to you.  Then you must convince them that there is a worthy end goal. Then you must teach them what to do to achieve said end goal.
The great reversal: this is the name given to the precipitous shift if the American evangelical church away from social programs.  They interpreted the social gospel movement (which equated humanitarian efforts with bringing in Christ's kingdom) as part of a developing theological drift.  They attempted to distance themselves from the social gospel movement along with other unwelcome theological challenges and changes.  This ended up removing them from the lines of poverty alleviation.  Note: they did NOT drift away because govt stepped in, that happened much later.  There was no safety net, they left for theological reasons (stupid ones, to me).
North Americans often see poverty as material insufficiency.  Actually, as you read the responses of those experiencing poverty offered in "Voices of the poor" you find that there are significant other effects and sources of poverty.  The poor express deep seated feeling of shame, inferiority, powerlessness, humiliation, fear hopelessness, depression, social isolation, and voicelessness.  (Note: we have 4 Chief relationships: relationship with god, self, others, and environment.  Poverty in any or all of these areas leads to feelings of poverty, and can be the root cause of a material insufficiency which will not be fixed with infusion of materials.)
The pursuit of material possessions as a source of happiness leads to huge amounts of time devoted to work and money, limiting the time spent on marriages, god and children.  This leads to torn marriages and broken families.
Given that there are 4 principal relationships community dev should focus on repairing these relationships to alleviate poverty (material, emotional, social poverty all are sourced in poverty of these relationships). We repair these relationship through Christ.
When considering poverty alleviation you must ask if they need relief, rehabilitation,or development. Relief is urgent and temporary aid to reduce immediate suffering from a natural or man made crisis.  This is a stop the bleeding scenario, relying on a provider receiver dynamic.  Rehab is restoring communities to the positive elements of pre crisis conditions.  This dynamic is working with an empowered populous.  Devius improving pre crisis conditions.  Moving all involved closer to harmonious relationships with self, god, others, and environment.  Before offering aid we must decide which type of aid is appropriate.
Good relief responses:  immediate.  We do not have time to find resources or figure out what to do.  You need to stop the bleeding.  Immediately.  So have resources, or even just a referral book for immediate assistance. Have your financial, human, and material resources organized and available. Respond only when the needs of an affected population are unmet by local people or organizations due to inability or unwillingness to help. Target assistance based on vulnerability and need.  Provide it equitably and impartially.  Aid workers should have appropriate qualifications,experience, AND attitude.
Rehab:  ensure participation of the affected population in the assessment, design, implementation, monitoring and evaluation of the assistance program.  (Treat people like the responsible stewards we want them to be).
Avoid paternalism.  Don't do things for people that they can do themselves.
- resource paternalism: financial or material resources.
- spiritual paternalism: don't assume you can teach them about god,  often their relationship is better than yours.
- knowledge paternalism:  when we assume we have the best ideas about how to do something. We might, but we rarely understand the cultural contexts into which these ideas must fit....making them less appropriate.
- labor paternalism: when we do work for people that they can do themselves.
- managerial paternalism: planning, managing and directing initiatives when local leadership can do it themselves.  (They might not take charge because they know we north americans will eventually - already dependant, they lack confidence when we are there, they know the project is a dud in their community)
It is hard to provide all the stages because you develop a reputation with each one.
Asset based community dev: identify and mobilize the capabilities,skills, and resources of the community or individual.  Look for solutions and resources tho come from within the community.  Look for problems only after discussing resources.  Develop relationships first.  Weigh individuals, associations, churches, businesses, schools, governments,etc.  Bring in outside help only after asking "is it too much, is it too soon?"
Abcd:
- asset mapping/inventorying.  Write down all your assets (prepared sheets and categories) and then have the community draw links between existing groups and individuals.  You go door to door and ask : what gifts do you have?
- participatory learning and action.  Group based exercises.
- appreciative inquiry.  Ask what has worked well in the past.  What has the community done right and how have they overcome?  This worked especially well to overcomes the despair and shame common to poverty stricken communities.
In development participation is not a means to and end but perhaps the most important end in itself.
Savings and credit associations: microfinance its best.  Encourage a church group to start it.  Every 6-12 months a group saves a given amount.  They save that much weekly and decide how much to loan out, to whom, and on what terms.  At the end of six months they collect and have their option of putting it back in. 
41.  Kiim.


El cuento de Kiim.

Kiim era mi primera viaje con desarrollo comunitario a una comunidad, y allá tuve una de las experiencias mas poderosa en mi vida toda vía.

Alfredo, Adeline, los Rescorlas (Andrew y Laura), y yo fuimos.

Alfredo el el jefe quien es Equitoriano.  El es un ingeniero civil y tiene una esposa de Inglaterra (Alex) quien es una ingeniera tambien.  Ellos tiene dos hijos, Benjamín y Camila.

Adeline es una chica de Irlanda Norte.  Ella es una misionera de desarrollo comunitario específicamente.  Ahora ella es en Ghana haciendo la misma.

Los Rescorlas son ingenieros de Minnesota trabajando con HCJB (nuestro organización) por 2.5 meses para decidir si y donde quieren servir.

Y yo.  Un estudiante quien quiere aprender todo y esta preparado por nada.  :)

Después 5 horas en coche llegamos en Macuma.  Desde Macuma tuvimos un trek de 2 horas a Kiim.  Pero, el sendero era...interesante.  Usualmente es lleno de barro pero hay tablones de madera encima.  Mejor dicho son troncos.  Redondeado.

En este época hay caballos que destruyen el sendero cada día.  Entonces ahora el sendero es bien ancho, pero solo hay mas o menos 2 troncos encima de que tienes que balancear, y por los lados hay barro.  Muy profundo.  Es un sendero muy frustrante.

Pero si, hay fotos de esto.   Con descripciones.  Lo que necesito contar es lo que no tiene un foto.

La primera noche después cena estábamos jugando con tarjetas.  Alrededor de 10 alguien toca la puerta.

Un hombre del pueblo dijo que su mama esta muy enfermo y el estuve pidiendo pastillas.  Yo no las tuve, pero yo dije que podría examinar la mama.

Después 5 minutos caminando a través la selva llegamos a la casa.  La mujer estuve inmediatamente al dentro.   Ella estaba cubierto con cobijas.  Ella no hablo castellano ni quiso hablar a su hijo.  Yo tuve que hablar con su hijo para aprender sobre este enfermedad.  Aparentemente su problema mayor es dolor de la cabeza muy fuerte.  Después algunas preguntas yo estaba bien preocupado: ella tenia todo los malos señales de meningitis, un tumor, y presión del cráneo creciente.   Por fin me dio cuenta que el hijo estaba contestando "si" a cada pregunta.  Cuando yo pregunte con preguntas abiertas yo aprendí la verdad: solo era un dolor de la cabeza muy fuerte.  Ella no estaba confundida, no tenia fiebre, etc etc.

El me dijo que ella ha tenido este dolor por mas que 10 días (los Shuar no tienen una palabra por números mas que 10, sólo usan "mucho").  Ella no ha estado bebiendo mucho agua porque el tenia miedo que el agua del pozo no era sana y por eso ella estaba bebiendo solo poco cantidades de agua.

Yo decidí que probablemente su dolor de la cabeza era por deshidracion.  En mi examen ella tenia señales de deshidracion.  Yo hice la sugerencia que ella debe beber agua hervida bastante durante los días.

Pero yo note algo otro.  Ella estaba respirando muy rápidamente.  Yo hice un estetoscopio con una redondo de papel  y escuché a sus pulmones.  Yo escuché sonidos indicativos de COPD.

Aparentemente ella había cocinada al dentro la casa con lena por todo su vida y ha tenido tos por bastante meses.

Yo dice que ella debe ir al doctor porque ella tiene  riesgo mas alto por neumonía con este enfermedad.  Yo dice que ella debe beber y comer sentada, no acostada, y ella debe tener una inhalador.

Con estos sugerencias fui para dormir.  Durante los próximos dias yo pregunte a su hijo como esta mi paciente.  Cada di el me dijo "mejorando con agua y comida."  El ultimo día en la comunidad yo fui para hacer una visita y ella estaba afuera la casa, trabajando en la chakra.

Espero que ella puede ir al medico en las próximas semanas, pero seguramente ella siente mejor.

Con este experiencia yo recordé por que quiero ser un doctor.  Me encanta las experiencias con pacientes.

Amor
Siempre

Stewart

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41. Kiim.


The Kiim tale.

Kiim was my first trip with community development in a community, and there I had one of the most powerful experiences in my life to date.

Alfredo, Adeline, the Rescorlas (Andrew and Laura), and I went.

Alfred the boss who is Equitoriano. He is a civil engineer and has a wife from England (Alex) who is also an engineer. They have two children, Benjamin and Camilla.

Adeline is a girl from Northern Ireland. She is a missionary of community development specifically. Now she is doing the same in Ghana.

The Rescorlas are engineers from Minnesota working with HCJB (our organization) for 2.5 months to decide if and where they want to serve.

And me. A student who wants to learn everything and is ready for anything. :)

After 5 hour drive we arrived in Macuma. From Macuma had a 2 hour trek Kiim. But the path was ... interesting. It is usually muddy but with wooden planks on top. Rather they ate are trunks. Rounded ones.

At this time there are horses that destroy the trail every day. So now the trail is quite wide, but only more or less 2 logs on top on which you have to balance, and the sides are mud. Very deep. The trail is very frustrating.

But yes, there are pictures of this. With descriptions. What I need is to tell about what you do not have a photo of.

The first night after dinner we were playing cards. About 10 someone knocks on the door.

A man of the village said that his mother is very ill and I was asking for pills. I had none, but I said I could examine the mom.


After 5 minutes walk through the jungle we got to the home. The woman was immediately inside. She was covered with blankets. She did not speak Castilian or talk to her son. I had to talk with her son to learn about this disease. Apparently the biggest problem was a headache very strong. After some questions I was really worried: she had all the bad signs of meningitis, tumor, and increased skull pressure. I finally realized that the son was just answering "yes" to each question. When I ask open questions I learned the truth: it was just a headache very strong. She was not confused, did not have fever, etc etc.

He told me that she has had this pain for more than 10 days (the Shuar have no word for numbers more than 10, they only use "a lot"). She has not been drinking much water because he was afraid that the well water was not healthy and that's why she was drinking only little amounts of water.

I decided I probably his headache was by dehydration. In my examination she had signs of dehydration. I made the suggestion that she should drink boiled water enough during the day.

But I noticed something else. She was breathing very quickly. I made a stethoscope with a paper round and listened to his lungs. I heard sounds indicative of COPD.

Apparently she had cooked the inside the house with wood all her life and has had a cough for a lot of months.

I said she should go to the doctor because she has higher risk for pneumonia with this disease. I said she should drink and eat sitting, not lying, and she must have a inhaler.

With these suggestions I went to sleep. During the next days I asked her son how was my patient. Each gave he said "improving water and food." The last day I was in the community I went for a visit and she was outside the house, working on the chakra.

I hope she can go to the doctor in the next few weeks, but she certainly feels better.

This experience reminded me that I want to be a doctor. I love the experiences with patients.

Love
Always

Stu