44. Sobre miedo.

Otra vez y otra vez.

Miguel y yo acabamos de regresar del trek  alrededor de Ausangate.  Era el lugar mas bonito del todo mi vida.   Ya quiero regresar.  Ya quiero mostrarlo a mi cariños.

Tengo mas de 900 fotos que necesito ordenar antes los público, pero como con Gocta yo tengo un cuento muy importante que no necesita fotos.

En nuestro 4to día estábamos perdidos.  Después bajando una abra estábamos buscando el sendero.  Aveces en este trek el sendero era muy muy obvio, aveces no.  En este momento vimos un sendero muy claro subiendo arriba el valle.  Nuestro mapa mostró que el sendero era 400 metros arriba del río.   Cuando llegamos a la cima del sendero había un "cairn" que usualmente demuestra que este sendero es el correcto.

Seguimos.  Estábamos caminando al lado de una montaña - mejor dicho un hombro de una montaña - con pasto, llamas, y colinas tiernas.   El valle con río era lejos abajo.

Después 700 metros encontramos un lugar lleno de piedras y pendiente.  Estábamos confundidos, porque con el "cairn" y mapa estaba mis seguro que este sendero era correcto.  Después un minuto encontramos un sendero bien claro a través de las piedras.

Seguimos al próximo lugar con pasto.

Seguimos a través el próximo lugar con piedras.  Por lo menos este ruta era muy sospecho, pero siempre cuando quisimos dar la vuelta encontramos un sendero muy claro y hecho por humanos obviamente. Viajamos 2 km en este manera.

Por fin llegamos en un lugar donde no hubo pase.  Vimos un grande sendero abajo, entonces bajamos.

Desafortunadamente, el sendero solo era para ir atrás.

Quitamos nuestras mochilas y buscamos una ruta para bajar.  Yo encontré solo barrancos y muerte.  Miguel encontró algo posible.  Había una ruta torcido y bien inclinado al lado del barranco, pero era cubierto en el pasto perfecto: largo y fuerte.

La ruta pareció a llegar abajo sin interrupción.

Decidimos a intentarla.

Miguel era correcto, la ruta llegó abajo sin interrupción.  Solo era 2 o 3 lugares peligroso con una grada de 2 o 3 cm de anchura al lado del barranco.  2 cm a la derecha era muerte cierto.

No te preocupes, estamos seguros y vividos.  Llegamos abajo sin daño.  Esta ruta solo era un reto a nuestros habilidades.  Recuerdas la ultima blog sobre decisiones?  Yo estabas pensando en este siempre.  Estoy seguro que si era claro que esta ruta era afuera de nuestros habilidades nosotros habríamos regresado.

Seguramente las ruta era adentro de nuestro habilidades.

Pero yo tenía una problema.  Para mi, esta ruta era espantosa.  Completamente espantosa.

Por eso voy a hablar sobre miedo.

Claro hay bastante diferente maneras en que puede entender miedo, y emociones en general.  Uno que yo creo es que hay 8 emociones básicos que son evolutivamente basados: miedo, tristeza, ira, alegría, sorpresa, disgusto, anticipación, y confianza.  Yo quiero incluir curiosidad.  La idea es que cada uno de estos emociones es un señal para proteger el organismo.

Por ejemplo: miedo es un señal de peligro.  Miedo es la a habilidad a reconocer peligro en algún forma y es un señal empujando a cualquiera de enfrentarlo o escaparlo.  Miedo siempre es sobre eventos del futuro: que cosas va a empeorar, que va a seguir en este manera (terrible), o que cosas malas va a pasar.

Miguel y yo tuvimos un grande conversación sobre miedo (en español!) después los eventos de este día.  Recuerdas nuestra noche atrapado por derrumbes?  Pues, alla el tenia mas miedo que yo, y en Ausangate yo tenia mas que el.  Hablamos en porque era esta diferencia.

Descubrimos dos posibilidades.

1) los roles que tuvimos en los diferente situaciones

2) que en Gocta no teníamos control del situación y en Ausangate Miguel no tuve dudas de su habilidad y yo las tuve.

1)  ahora creemos que en Ausangate Miguel era "el líder" en este momento.  El estaba explorando este ruta.  Yo exploré un otro terrible, y el encontró este ruta posible.  Cuando eres el líder es tu trabajo a formar o tener un opinión y comunicarlo bien.  Es tu trabajo a tener confianza y seguridad.  Debes mostrar bravura mas que miedo - si muestras miedo su seguidores va a tener miedo y usualmente no pueden hacer lo que necesitan hacer.  Ellos van a helarse.  Tu valor va a propagarse a los demás.  Aveces este es terrible - si el situación necesita mas habilidad que ellos tienen y tu no lo habías analizado bien.  Pero si tu eres un líder bueno vas a conocer los limites de tu grupo con honestidad y puedes animar a ellos a hacer mas que ellos creen que pueden hacer.  Entonces, si tu role es el líder, puedes evitar miedo mas fácilmente por que estas usando lógica exclusivamente.  En Gocta Miguel creó que yo tenia el role del líder, y yo creí que el estaba el líder.  En Ausangate Miguel era "el líder," entonces el tenia el responsabilidad a animarme, y el no tenia espacio o tiempo por miedo.

2) Control.  Este idea es muy interesante para me.  En Gocta no teníamos control sobre nada.  Solo nuestra reacciones.  Estábamos bien atrapados.  Miguel tenia mucho miedo (y por su pesto era apropriado), tal vez porque por 1 minute el creó que yo estaba muerte, o tal vez porque el tenia el role del seguidor y yo también entonces nadie estaba conduciendo o animando.  Tal vez el sentimiento que nadie tenia control era muy miedoso para el (otra vez, en este situacion apropriademente).  Para mi era diferente en Gocta.  Tal vez porque yo estaba orando yo sentí que dios tenia control.  Tal vez para mi si no tengo control yo sentí que no vale la pena a tener miedo sobre algo que no puedo hacer nada sobre.  Claro todavía no pude dormir, pero yo creo que eso era porque tenia que ser despierto para reaccionar a lo que podría pasar, pero no era por miedo.  Cuando no puedes escapar ni enfrentar tu miedo no vale la pena a tenerlo.

En Ausangate Miguel se sintió en control.  Sintió que tuve el habilidad necesario.  El estaba el líder y también cómodo con su habilidad.  Yo, sin embargo, yo no.  Yo supe que tenia el habilidad.  Yo lo conocí.  Pero yo me sentí miedo todavía porque yo sentí que no tenia el habilidad.

Recuerdas: Desde este momento encima el barranco hace 2 semanas no mas tenia dengue, y también anemia (no se porque - probablemente era por mi dieta y por dengue).  Todavía me sentí un poco débil, lento, y sin balanza.

Yo supe con todo mi mente que tenia el habilidad, pero mis sentidos solo recordaron mi debilidad y que me faltó balanza.  Mi mente supo completamente que pude hacer este ruta peligrosa, pero mis sentidos eran gritando que no pude.

Por eso no sentí en control.  Yo no estaba cómodo.  Mi miedo era poderoso por los sentidos.  Cada segundo tenia que recordarme con lógico que podría hacer eso.  Como siempre los sentidos regresaron rápidamente.  Sentidos siempre no responden a lógico.  :)

Hay una frase que dice "vencer miedo."  Yo creo que puede vencer miedo solo con animación o curiosidad.  Curiosidad es un sentido, un emoción contrario a miedo.  Puedes tener los dos en el mismo tiempo, y usualmente uno va a ser mas fuerte que el otro, y tu vas a escuchar al mas fuerte.

Animación puede ser de tu mismo o de un otro: un líder.  Yo creo que animación a vencer miedo es un cosa muy muy poderosa y debes ser muy cuidadoso con este poder.   Nosotros tenemos miedo por un razón.  Aveces debemos vencer, aveces debemos escuchar a lo.  Debes ser completamente honesto con tu evaluación de tu o su habilidad.  Si es claro que tu puedes hacerlo puedes animar tu mismo.  Si quieres ser un líder hay que tener el habilidad a evaluar los limites de los demás bien.  Es completamente necesario.  Si no puedes, no debes pretender a ser un líder.

Este aplica a cada tipo de líder.  Incluyendo doctores.

Eso yo creo.

Amor/amen
Siempre

Stewart


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About fear.

Again and again.

Michael and I just returned from the Ausangate trek. It was the most beautiful place of my life. Already we want to go back. Already I want to show it to my loved ones.

I have over 900 photos that need sorting before I publicize them, but as with Gocta I have a very important story that needs no photos.

On our 4th day we were lost. After one pass we were looking for the pass downwards. Sometimes in this trek the trail was very very obvious, sometimes not. At this time we saw a clear path going up the side of the valley. Our map showed that the path was 400 feet above the river. When we reached the top of the trail there was a "cairn" which usually shows that this path is correct.

We continued. We were walking beside a mountain - rather on the shoulder of a mountain - with grass, llamas, and gentle hills. The river valley was far below.

After 700 meters we find a place full of stones, and a steep slope. We were confused, because with the "cairn" and our map were sure that this path was correct. After one minute we find a clear path through the rocks.

We continue to the next place with grass.

We continue through the next place with stones. At the minimum this route was very suspect, but always when we wanted to turn around we found a clear path obviously made by humans. We traveled 2 km in this way.

We finally arrived at a place where there was no pass. We saw a big path down the side of the mountain a little ways, so we went down.

Unfortunately, the trail was just going backwards.

We took our backpacks off and looked for a route to go down. I found only cliffs and death. Miguel found something possible. There was a crooked and well inclined path on the side of the cliff, but it was was covered in perfect grass: long and strong.

The path seemed to go down without interruption.

We decided to try it.

Miguel was right, the route came down without interruption. It was only 2 or 3 dangerous places with a step of 2 or 3 cm wide near the cliff. 2 cm to the right was a certain death.

Do not worry, we are safe and alive. We came down without damage. This route was only a challenge to our abilities. Remember the last blog about decisions? I was thinking about this always. I'm sure if it was clear that this route was out of our skills we would have returned.

Surely the route was in our abilities.

But I had a problem. For me, this route was terrifying. Completely terrifying.

So I'll talk about fear.

Sure there are quite different ways you can understand fear and emotions in general. One I believe is that there are eight basic emotions which are evolutionarily based: fear, sadness, anger, joy, surprise, disgust, anticipation and confidence. I want to include curiosity. The idea is that each of these emotions is a cue to protect the organism.

For example, fear is a warning sign. Fear is the ability to recognize danger in any way and is a sign pushing us to either face or escape it. Fear is always about future events, that things will get worse, it will continue in this way (terrible), or bad things will happen.

Michael and I had a great conversation about fear (in Spanish!) after the events of this day. Remember our night trapped by landslides? Well, he was more afraid of them than I, and I was more afraid than him on Ausangate. We spoke about wwhy there was this difference.

We found two possibilities.

1) the roles which we had in different situations

2) that we had no control Gocta situation and in Ausangate Miguel had no doubts of his ability and I had doubts.

1)  now we believe that Michael was "the leader" in ausangate. He was exploring this route. I explored another terrible route, and he found this possible route. When you're the leader your job is to form or have an opinion and communicate it well. It's your job to have confidence. You should show more courage than fear - if you show fear your followers will be afraid and usually can not do what they need to do. They are going to freeze. Your bravery will spread to others. Sometimes this is terrible - if the situation requires more skill than they have and you have not canalized their abilities well. But if you are a good leader you know the limits of your group and can honestly encourage them to do more than they think they can do. So if your role is a leader, you can more easily avoid fear if you're using only logic. In Gocta Miguel thought that I had the leader's role, and I thought that he was the leader.  There was confusion. In Ausangate Miguel was clearly "the leader," so had the responsibility to encourage me, and he did not have space or time for fear.

2) Control. This idea is very interesting to me. In Gocta we had no control over anything. Only our reactions. We were well trapped. Miguel was very afraid (of course it was appropriate fear/anxiety), maybe because for one minute he thought I was dead, or perhaps because he had the role of follower and I did too so then nobody was leading or encouraging. Perhaps the feeling that no one had control was very scary for him (again, in this situation appropriately). For me it was different in Gocta. Maybe because I was praying I felt God had control. Maybe for me if I have no control I felt that it is not worth it to be afraid of something I can not do anything about. Of course I could not sleep, but I think that was because I had to be awake to react to what might happen, but it was not out of fear. When you can not escape or confront your fear is not worth it to have it.

In Ausangate Miguel felt in control. He felt he had the necessary skills. He was the leader and also comfortable with his ability. I, however, I did not. I knew I had the ability. I knew that. But I still felt fear because I felt I did not have the ability.

Remember that two weeks before this moment above the cliff i had dengue and anemia (do not know why - it was probably because of my diet and dengue). I still felt a little weak, slow, and without balance.

I knew in my mind that I had the ability, but my feelings just remembered my weakness and that I lacked balance. My mind knew I could do this dangerous route, but my feelings were screaming that I could not.

So I did not feel in control. I was not comfortable. My fear was powerful because of these feelings. Every second I had to remind myself with logic that could do this. As always feelings quickly returned. Feelings don't always respond to logic. :)

There is a phrase that says "overcome fear." I think we can overcome fear with encouragement or just curiosity. Curiosity is a feeling, the opposite emotion of fear. You can have both at the same time, usually one will be stronger than the other, and you'll listen the strongest.

Encouragement can be from yourself or another: a leader. I think encouragement to overcome fear is a very powerful thing and you should be very careful with this power. We are afraid for a reason. Sometimes we should overcome, sometimes we should listen to it. You must be completely honest with your assessment of your or their ability. If it is clear that you can do it you can encourage yourself. If you want to be a leader you must have the ability to assess the limits of others well. It is absolutely necessary. If you can not, you should not pretend to be a leader.

This applies to each type of leader. Including doctors.

That I believe.

Love / love
Always

Stewart